It’s November 26th. I’ve written 18 reviews for my 31 Days of Horror. At the rate I’m writing these things I won’t be done by 2019. I don’t want that. You don’t want that. So let’s make some magic here tonight. I’m watching snow fall out my kitchen window and the house is quiet. The wife and kids are asleep, and I’m experiencing my own little Box of Matches moment. Box of Matches is a book written by the great and occasionally warped Nicholson Baker. In this instance, Baker examines the profundities of life through the smallest of actions. Each chapter is about a man who wakes up early, before the day has begun and experiences the stillness of life before his family rises. Each chapter begins with him making coffee and lighting a fire with one wooden match.

I don’t do “early,” so I’m having my Box of Matches moment just after midnight. And it would be serene if I didn’t have a 4-month-old kitten running around like a f’ing maniac. SERENITY NOW.

2018 @CinemaShame / Hooptober Progress

#1. Deep Rising (1998)
#2. The Mist (2007)
#3. Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948)
#4. Abbott and Costello Meet the Invisible Man (1951)
#5. Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy (1955)
#6. Maniac Cop (1988)
#7. Nightbreed (1990)
#8. The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)
#9. In the Castle of Bloody Desires (1968)
#10. Chopping Mall (1986)
#11. The Kiss of the Vampire (1963)
#12. The Legend of Hell House (1973)
#13. Messiah of Evil (1973)
#14. Possession (1981)
#15. Blood Diner (1987)
#16. Inquisition (1978)
#17. The Bloodstained Shadow (1978)
#18. Hold That Ghost (1941)
#19. The Dark (1979)

Back on track. Time to bang out a whole mess of mini-movie reviews.

 

#20. The Devil Rides Out (1968)

Nature of Shame:

I keep forgetting that this movie is called The Devil Rides Out so I keep watching it every so many years because I’m going senile.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Pre-1970
Terence Fisher
50th Anniversary

Based on my ability to forget this particular film, you’d think I’d have been regularly ravaged by boredom. Quite the contrary. These devil-raising, fire and brimstone, hell and fury witchhunter movies have a tendency to be rather droll and redundant. No offense witchhunter movie fans, but they’re generally just okay.

The Devil Rides Out runs scattershot and fills itself chockablock with pentagrams and rearing horses and spiders and car chases and the summoning a generic looking black dude with a wild bit of sorcery (which, if I’m being honest, always plays a little bizarro because wouldn’t you summon someone a little more… anomalous?). And in the center of it all you have Christopher Lee fighting Charles Gray and the forces of evil.

Final Devil Rides Out Thoughts: 

It might need to regularly job my memory but I’m always glad I come back around. The Devil Rides Out always impresses and remains one of the most satisfying of all the films I always forget I’ve seen.

Availabilty:

For whatever stupid reason, the powers that be have refused to release The Devil Rides Out on a Region A Blu-ray, and the DVD is long OOP. All I can tell you is that you should be region-free so you can tell the gatekeepers of physical media to bugger off and order the affordable Region B UK Blu-ray from StudioCanal. (Rumblings suggest a stateside release is on the way because the massive acquisition of StudioCanal titles by Shout! Factory and Kino, but nothing as of yet has been announced.)

 

#21. The Swarm (1978)

Nature of Shame:

An unseen thing that I’m told I should watch. I remain skeptical.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

40th Anniversary
Flying Things Will Kill You

If you’ve ever watched a movie and thought to yourself, “This is the dumbest movie I’ve ever seen and I hope it runs for three hours,” this is the movie for you.

The Swarm will give you hives, but you’ll keep watching and watching and watching and watching and watching and then Michael Caine goes [hear Rob Brydon’s latter career Michael Caine voice] ON AN ABSOLUTE BLOODY RAMPAGE ABOUT THE BLOODY HONEY BEES AND HE LOSES THE ABILITY TO ADEQUATELY USE TONE TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN A MAJOR FUCKING DISASTER AND A SLIGHT INCONVENIENCE.

Suddenly, you’re wondering where The Swarm’s been all your life and after watching this movie for-fucking-ever Michael Caine and Katherine Ross ever so calmly have a dynamite mini-Al Gore the-world-is-crumbling moment while a mushroom cloud surges skyward behind them. You know, a perfectly normal reaction to the detonation OF A BLOODY NUCLEAR WARHEAD.

Final The Swarm Thoughts:

Irwin Allen should not be allowed near an editing room.

Availability: 

The good folks at Warner Archive have seen fit to bless/curse us with a Blu-ray of The Swarm. You can own this and turn it on whenever you want! Torture unsuspecting friends and family! NOW THAT’S BLOODY LIKE IT. It’s a one-star movie with four-star entertainment value. Let’s round up to 2 1/2 and call it a day.

 

#22. The Funhouse (1981)

Nature of Shame:

Unseen Tobe Hooper

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Tobe Hooper

Let’s make a movie with a super creepy carnival funhouse, BUT NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THE ACTUAL CARNIVAL/FUNHOUSE FOR MOST OF THE MOVIE. By the time this movie found itself some decent slasher elements and a relatively interesting menace, I’d checked out.

Final The Funhouse Thoughts:

Elizabeth Berridge probably deserved a more notable career. She was so good in Amadeus, but was still relegated to lesser supporting roles. This movie should have been fun. I’m sure a lot of people would give me a whole bunch of “yeah buts” about this movie, but it shouldn’t have been hard to deliver a halfway decent slasher movie with an entire carnival freak show at your disposal.

Availability: 

Scream Factory released this on Blu-ray. Huzzah. For completists only. 

 

#23. Ghostbusters (1984)

Nature of Shame:

I haven’t seen Ghostbusters this year. Showing it to my 9yo daughter for the first time.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Nothing!

I watched Ghostbusters again. I’ve written about my love of Ghostbusters many times over, so I’ll just direct you to the thousands of words I’ve already written. Most recently I wrote about some weird new negativity about the original film after the release of the remake in 2016. In 2012, I wrote about the ways in which the things we love from our childhood make us feel crazy old… like Ghostbusters came out 25 years before my daughter was born. From Here to Eternity came out 25 years before I was born… and From Here to Eternity seems reaaaalllly old to me. I’ve also written a couple of mental health bl-g posts about making time for the things you love and seeing the movie on the big screen for the first time since 1984.

Final Ghostbusters Thoughts:

It’s a couple of wavy lines.

Availability: 

Wherever fine films are sold. 

 

#24. Horror of Dracula (1958)

Nature of Shame:

First watch on Blu-ray. First watch in many many years.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Terence Fisher
Pre-1970
60th Anniversary

The Horror of Dracula (aka just Dracula in the UK) made a statement about the commercial viability of Hammer Horror. It proved that The Curse of Frankenstein was no fluke. It also cemented Peter Cushing and especially Christopher Lee as international movie stars.

It’s more atmospheric than creepy and lacks consideration for the source material, but goes about its business with a noteworthy efficiency. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing make this movie far better than the material. Hammer solidifies their model with exquisite production values on a razor-thin budget.

Final The Horror of Dracula Thoughts:

The Horror of Dracula is comfort food. Safe scares foregrounded against gothic elegance.

Availability: 

Warner Archive just announced a Region A Blu-ray release of The Horror of Dracula. I own the Region B released from Lions Gate, which features some restored footage. 

 

#25. Night of the Demon (1957)

Nature of Shame:

UNWATCHED! LEGIT SHAME. <GASP.>

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Pre-1970

If it weren’t for Possession, I’d declare this, without a doubt, the finest new watch of the season. Jacques Tourneur brings back some Val Lewton vibes with this story of the devil, the occult and a magician who thought he had it made in the shade. Dana Andrews plays the skeptic, steeped in science and reason, who arrives to argue against parapsychology at a conference. He finds himself mired in a case of some mysterious manuscripts and a hangup on a petulant Peggy Cummings.

Tourneur plays both sides of the occult. Sure it’s crazy, but what if… what if, this parlor magician named Karswell really has discovered the power of black magic? What if… his prophecies of death really do come true? The director adds depth to his questions through the language of light and shadow and the possibilities of the unknown.

Final Night of the Demon Thoughts:

Night of the Demon deserves elevation into the pantheon of classic horror films and should be viewed by anyone with a pulse.

Availability: 

Powerhouse/Indicator released the ultimate Night of the Demon set featuring four cuts of the film, a bounty of extras and an extra special Karswell business card that you might not want to hang on to… bwah hah hah. The Limited Edition set isn’t region-coded so it’ll play anywhere. It’s my favorite release of 2018.

 

#26. The Hearse (1980)

Nature of Shame:

Unwatched Vinegar Syndrome Blu-ray

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Inanimate Thing Comes Alive To Kill You

So it wasn’t exactly how I thought it was going to go because I’m not sure I can say that the hearse came live to kill anything because there was at least, I believe, always some kind of spectral Hearse driver… so not sure it counts, but it counts.

Anyway, The Hearse turned into a capable little spook flick once it found a groove and stopped with the Trish Van Devere city girl living in the country and oh boy things are going to get kooky! Also so much teen boy ogling. She’s harassed by unfriendly locals and a spectral (?) hearse. The biggest problem with The Hearse is that the locals are so terrible and the hearse haunting is totally weird and any sane human would have gotten the hell out of town long before the movie reveals the satanic nature of the disturbances. JUST GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM BECAUSE NONE OF THIS IS KOSHER!, I yelled at the TV at one point.

Even though George Bowers’ film is filled with a collection of 1970’s satanic horror tropes, The Hearse proves to be off-kilter just enough to make this languid (some would say boring) B-flick more than just a knockoff. Not much more, mind you. I was pleasantly surprised because my expectations were extraordinarily low. There’s a better movie in there if you care to find it. Plus, Joseph Cotten!

Final The Hearse Thoughts:

Unlike The Funhouse, in which nothing happens and I lost all interest, The Hearse manages nothing more than the oddity of the spectral hearse hauntings and I’m at least hooked and waiting for more. Potatoes. Tomatoes. I even hung on to watch the extras on the Blu-ray. That’s how into The Hearse I was — relatively speaking.

Availability: 

Vinegar Syndrome released The Hearse on Blu-ray because they do things like that when they’re not releasing porn.

 

#27. Alligator (1980)

Nature of Shame:

Where’s my damn Alligator Blu-ray protest watch.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Death from the Deep

Robert Forster has this thing about him as an actor. He’s gruff and unlikable but magnetic. He commands the screen with his demeanor — not bombast or histrionics, just quiet gravitas. He reminds me of John Garfield in many ways. I won’t dare say that Alligator is his finest hour of film, but the film is incredibly effective at transferring the Jaws model to the rough and tumble city streets with a sly sense of humor.

A pet alligator gets loose in the sewer, meets toxic runoff and becomes a very large hungry man-eating alligator. Director Lewis Teague has a checkered filmography. Cujo, Cat’s Eye and Alligator suggests the guy had great potential as a horror director. He creates a number of highly effective set pieces. Given stars and a budget, however, and he turns in Jewel of the Nile and Navy Seals. Okay, I do have a soft spot for Navy Seals, but it’s not a good film.

Now, pardon me while I resume my ALLIGATOR ON BLU-RAY campaign. Considering all the genre dreck that’s being released on Blu-ray you’d think we could get Alligator. I only have a Korean DVD release.

Final Alligator Thoughts:

Don’t mess with Ramon.

Availability: 

Sadly non-existent. The aforementioned Korean DVD is all we’ve got. It’s better than nothing, but it’s a full frame VHS transfer. This YouTube version is even worse.

 

#28. Medousa (1998)

Nature of Shame:

Unwatched Mondo Macabro DVD.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Country of Origin: Greece
20th Anniversary

Having just had a conversation about Hammer’s The Gorgon on the last Cinema Shame podcast, I had expected something similar. Not even the same ballpark. A boy’s mother goes missing. He remembers odd, specific details about the night of her disappearance and he’s trying to put them together into something that makes sense.All he knows is that it has something to do with a long-haired woman in black. Many years later he’s the head of a gang of thieves that has the opportunity to burgle the house in which his mother disappeared.

Viewers looking for a genre refashioning of the myth might become frustrated with the film’s non-existent pacing. Medousa, however, creates a substantial amount of tension through flashback and the concurrent police investigation into the sudden appearance of statues of people who’ve gone missing. This is an arthouse movie that transfers ancient myth to modern Athens through mood and mystery.

Final Medousa Thoughts:

I didn’t think I liked this movie. The more it simmered, the more I appreciated the psychosexual undercurrents and deliberate swell to catharsis.

The Medusa myth boasts such magnificent imagery — but imagery that becomes more complicated within the cinematic language. This might be one explanation for why it’s rarely attempted on screen. #IdleThoughts

Availability: 

Mondo Macabro’s DVD looks great. I wouldn’t hesitate to pick this up if you’re someone with a passing interest in Greek cinema or mythology. For anyone else, I struggle to offer a blanket recommendation. If languid arthouse cinema with a pinch of mystique is your bag, then by all means dabble.

 

#29. The Phantom Carriage (1921)

Nature of Shame:

Unseen Silent Horror

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Country of Origin: Sweden
Silent
Pre-1970’s

I’d long heard tales of the great Phantom Carriage. The “I watch this every New Years” accolades. I prepared myself for worship.

Victor Sjöström’s macabre fable features stunning double exposures and a complex flashback structure uncommon to silent films. It’s a remarkable work of expressionist art — and the scene where the coach driver acquires a drowned soul by driving his carriage into the water felt nothing short of otherworldly. 

And yet… I didn’t love it. After my viewing I felt compelled to do some research about the source material. It felt at once like an ancient fairy tale and a cautionary scared straight video. They Soul Shall Bear Witness! (wow–just wow) was a 1912 novel by the author Selma Lagerlöf. It was originally commissioned by a Swedish health association as a means of public education about tuberculosis.

Sjöström downplays the novel’s message about the nature of the contagion, but retains the character of Sister Edith as The Phantom Carriage‘s main protagonist and every time it returns to her, the film rolls through molasses.

Final The Phantom Carriage Thoughts:

If for no other reason, you should watch The Phantom Carriage for some of the most impressive special effects in all of silent cinema. Don’t let my relative disappointment deter you. Sjöström has created a masterpiece of visual artistry and for that reason alone it deserves your attention. 

Availability: 

The Phantom Carriage has been brought to us on a spectacular Criterion edition of the film featuring multiple scores, including a modern experimental version; an except from an interview with Ingmar Bergman; and a visual essay by film historian Peter Cowie.

 

#30. Scanners (1981)

Nature of Shame:

Unseen Cronenberg “classic”

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Cronenberg

I picked up the Scanners Criterion Blu-ray many years ago because it was a genre film released on Criterion and goshdarnit I should watch this thing because who doesn’t make references to Scanners‘ exploding heads? I know I do. And it always felt disingenuous. A little pang of guilt with every mention. Cronenberg’s most visible film.

I no longer feel disingenuous, but I do feel underwhelmed.

David Cronenberg’s not an easy filmmaker. Affinity for his films cannot necessarily be predicted. I’m a fan of Videodrome and Naked Lunch. I love The Fly (1986). I still need to see The Brood. But every once in awhile he makes a film to which people really gravitate and I’m standing there wondering what the hell I missed. So it goes with Scanners.

Beyond the exploding head effects, I found the film an easy enough watch through the face-value weirdness of intense staring contests as a form of cinema. After the first head ‘splosion, however the film relies largely on sequences teasing more of the same brand of body horror. Unsettling, off-kilter tension throughout with little of the same payoff.

I didn’t *dislike* Scanners, but I constantly struggled to identify with the film. I grasped for meaning that might not have been there at all. Was it about the rise of a nefarious counter-culture? Was it about post-60’s hippie radicals becoming working professionals? Hell, after watching the film I went online and Googled “the meaning of Scanners.” It didn’t help.

Final Scanners Thoughts:

Stephen Lack should not act in the same movie as Patrick McGoohan.

Availability: 

Criterion has blessed us with a Scanners release so we can dive into the extra features to help explain the point of what it was we just watched. 

 

#31. Tales from the Hood (1995)

Nature of Shame:

A thing I really liked in the theater, but haven’t seen since.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Hooptober Extra Credit

I remember loving this film after its release. For whatever reason I just never picked it up on home video until Scream Factory recently released the Blu-ray. The “Gotta Have Its” kicked in finally and I picked myself up a copy.

I’ve never been a huge fan of anthology films. With the exception of Dead of Night, I’ve never *loved* any of them. It just seems like there’s always one story that takes a bite out of the overall experience. Even if 3 out of 4 segments land that’s still just 75% of a good movie. C-grade. Good luck with your job as a grocery bagger, movie.

Tales from the Hood confronts real goddamn issues through some mildly unnerving set pieces. I admire the film now more than I’m wowed by it. In 1995 it was unlike anything I’ve ever seen. It felt vibrant and fresh, like discovering a new thing. Now, it’s fine. I love that Rusty Cundieff is out there making films as wild and experimental as this, but 23 years between revisitations feels right by me.

I still adore the third segment, “KKK Comeuppance.” Stop motion and POV shots abound in this wildly inventive short film about a slimy white politician getting his due from the ghosts of racial injustice past.

Final Tales from the Hood Thoughts:

I love that people love this film; there’s much to admire. As I said, I just have this thing about anthology films. It’s the “It’s not you; it’s me” film criticism.

Availability: 

Scream Factory Blu-ray looks and sounds great considering the negligible budget and effects. Definite pick-up for fans. Definite watch for the curious.

#32. Tales from the Hood 2 (2018)

Nature of Shame:

It’s out there. I haven’t seen it.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Extra credit

Tales from the Hood 2 further reinforces my negativity about anthology films by being cheap, poorly written and wildly erratic in tone. Where the original found some nuance with its characters, this is the sledgehammer of stereotype. Negative production values undermine whatever value might have been present.

After the horrifying (in a bad way) opening segment, I thought the film could only get better from there. NO! It maintains the same level of leaden jokes and unnecessary histrionics until you stop watching and just do something else while it’s on in the background. I hope for everyone the stuck around for the duration that something rewarded their efforts.

Final Tales from the Hood 2 Thoughts:

Ack.

Availability: 

Sure you could own this, but why would you? 

 

#33. Suspiria (2018)

Nature of Shame:

The only “Shame” is that maybe I didn’t believe that this should have been made at all.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

None

Call it a remake or a reimagining, Luca Guadagnino’s Suspiria is at least a reaction to Argento’s film. Relevant information: I consider 1977’s Suspiria a masterpiece of art horror. The film’s threadbare narrative permits Argento’s nearly singleminded focus to remain on the image — the color, the depth of focus, the set design. Style over substance… unless as in this instance, style *IS* the substance.

Guadagnino’s takes Argento’s skeleton and stuffs it with narratives and themes and some of them flesh out ideas that ’77 skirts like a passing breeze. Set in the same time period, in a divided Berlin, ’18 digs into gender politics, dance theory, body horror, terrorism, religion, alienation, etc. Another viewing might pull out twelve more points of concerns for Guadagnino’s lens. Guadagnino has tossed so many different balls in the air it would be impossible for Suspiria to catch them all — even with its 2 1/2 hour runtime.

What 2018’s not concerned about is the aforementioned color, set design, etc. Set in a spartan Eastern block universe, the director waltzes among grey and greyer, mirrors and concrete. It’s not that he’s ignored visual aesthetics, it’s that he’s reacted with equal and opposite vigor.

Guadagnino’s greatest success comes in the ways he incorporates dance into the narrative. Argento used the dance academy as an insular world that might secretly foster a coven of witches. At best, a convenience. Guadagnino uses the dance setting as a playground for body horror and gender identity and politics. Aronofsky covered some of this in Black Swan, but not like this, not with this attention to detail and performance. The ballet (Volk, in this instance) becomes as integral to the film as the witches themselves.

I might still be coming to terms with my overall opinion of Suspiria. I walked out bewildered and frustrated. My frustration has dissipated under the observation that Guadagnino’s missteps originated in overzealousness and ambition.

Final Suspiria Thoughts:

Polarizing, maddening, overlong, fitfully brilliant, Suspiria is a movie with 200 different angles. Find the right one and you might see transcendence; find the wrong one, however, and… well, your fate might very well align with those that backed Mother Markos. (#SpoilerAlert: Scanners doesn’t have a monopoly on ‘sploded heads anymore.)

Availability: 

Not yet. But you can pre-order it here from Amazon.

 

#34. The Black Doll (1938)

Nature of Shame:

I dunno.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Pre-1970
80th Anniversary

Universal’s Crime Club mysteries are a largely forgotten off-shoot of their early horror films. Spooky old houses, mysterious charlatans, and a murder mystery to be solved!

Otis Garrett’s The Black Doll starts in earnest. A black doll appears on a dishonest mine owners desk and he fears that death has arrived to make amends for the murder of his former partner. The building blocks of a eerie movie about black magic and the occult! The proto-Night of the Demon!

Alas.

Edgar Kennedy arrives and turns the movie into a light comedy murder mystery. Kennedy’s charisma makes it entertaining for entirely different reasons than you’d hoped after that first reel. Pleasant but forgettable.

Final The Black Doll Thoughts:

I figured out why the Crime Club mysteries have largely been forgotten. This might have been the best one.

Availability: 

The Black Doll is available on a less-than-stellar DVD-R. It does the job, but it’s got a case of the jitters. 

 

#35. The Fall of the House of Usher (1928)

Nature of Shame:

Haven’t seen in a long time?

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:

Pre-1970
90th Anniversary
Silent

Jean Epstein’s La chute de la maison Usher is the best adaptation of Poe’s source material ever made. I’m throwing down that gauntlet.

Weird, unsettling and otherworldly, it places the viewer off-balance and conveys the psychological terror through silence. Unusual camera angles and expressive lighting depict Roderick Usher’s descent into madness where dialogue would only get in the way. Gothic horror rooted in pure cinema — visuals and a minimalist score place the horror in the mind, exactly where Poe would have wanted it.

Final The Fall of the House of Usher Thoughts:

Just as moved by the film as during my first viewing many years ago for a term paper on cinematic adaptations of Edgar Allan Poe, I wish we could see a fully restored version of Epstein’s masterpiece. It’s easy to see where Luis Bunuel influenced Epstein as his assistant director.

Availability: 

Image released a now OOP 2001 DVD of the film, but we’ve seen nothing since. While the DVD certainly improves upon the VHS bootleg copy I tracked down 20 years ago, there’s room for improvement and I hope someone like Flicker Alley picks this up and works their magic.

 

31 Days of Horror 2018: Recap!

Total Number of Horror Movies: 35
First Time Watches: 25
Total Number of Minutes: 3378
Average Length of Film: 96 minutes
Average Year of Release: 1973
Countries of Origin: 7 – US, UK, Germany, Spain, Italy, Greece, Sweden, France

Top 5 First-Time 31 Days of Horror 2018 Watches

#1. Possession (1981)

#2. Night of the Demon (1957)

#3. The Mist (2007)

#4. Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

#5a (tie). The Phantom Carriage (1921)

#5b (tie). Kiss of the Vampire