Category: Cinema

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Cinema

2017 3rd Annual 30/007Hz First Watch Hertzie Awards

My Letterboxd.com stat sheet indicates that I watched 304 movies in the year of 2017 and 70.7% of those were brand new to me. From Manchester By the Sea on January 1 to Baywatch on December 31 that’s a solid collection of movies. Only 17 of those films were released in 2017.

What? You’re dying to know more details from my Letterboxd.com stat sheet?

letterboxd stats

I watched more movies on Friday than any other day of the week and of the non-English countries of origin I watched more Italian films than Japanese films despite watching 10 movies from the Zatoichi series. I’m fascinated and I know you are too.

While everyone else is out there during this time of year discussing their favorite movies from the year that was, I’m not so sure I’m qualified anymore. The Oscar nominations arrived this morning. And unlike my more youthful days when I was a barely-compensated entertainment journalist for a tabloid-style publication, I haven’t seen them all — nowhere close, actually. You know what I have seen? The 304 movies I watched last year. I am 100% qualified to discuss and give out awards to all of those movies.

So what you won’t see is any furor over accolades for Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. I declare this a Three Billboards fury-free zone. Because, yes, you guessed it. I haven’t seen it. (Yet.)

My Oscar-season counter-programming might not entertain more than a couple people out there on the Interwebs, but I enjoy allowing myself the time to reflect upon my year in movies — so much so that this is the third year I’ll have given out the prestigious Hertzies. To recap: Slither (1973) took home the first Hertzie grand prize in 2015 and The Wanderers (1979) walked off (without controversy) with the 2016 Hertzie. Some love the Oscars, others fancy the Golden Globes, and four people out there know about the Hertzies.

Now it’s time to turn the microphone over to the once and forever Hertzie girl, our master of ceremonies, Myrna Loy, to present the nominees for the 3rd Annual Hertzie Awards.

myrna loy

Presenting the 3rd Annual First Watch Hertzie Award Nominations (and Winners!)

Celeste Holm, The Tender Trap
Jennifer Jones, Beat the Devil
Angela Lansbury, The Private Affairs of Bel-Ami
Joan McCracken, Good News
Una Merkel, Murder in the Private Car
Agnes Moorehead, The Magnificent Ambersons

*Surprise nomination for Una Merkel in the silly Murder in the Private Car might cause some controversy. It’s almost like the Rumble just wanted her to come to the party. 

Agnes Moorehead The Magnificent Ambersons

Winner: Agnes Moorehead, The Magnificent Ambersons

It’s impossible to overlook poor beleaguered Agnes Moorehead in Orson Welles’ other other masterpiece. Torture and inward retreat. She makes you feel and breathes life and breath into Joseph Kotten’s performance as well.

Jack Lemmon, The China Syndrome
Adam Driver, What If…
Thomas Gomez, Ride the Pink Horse
Victor Mature, My Darling Clementine
Victor Moore, It Happened on Fifth Avenue
James Stewart, Rope

*Adam Driver’s here solely due to his sex nacho speech.

victor mature my darling clementine

Winner: Victor Mature, My Darling Clementine

Victor Mature is a rock in John Ford’s My Darling Clementine. No longer just a chiseled jawbone with sunken, brooding eyes. Doc Holliday continues to prove that it’s the juiciest of juicy roles.

Humphrey Bogart, In a Lonely Place
Ronald Colman, A Double Life
Douglas Fairbanks, The Mark of Zorro
W.C. Fields, The Bank Dick
Shintaro Katsu, Tale of Zatoichi
Joseph Cotten, The Magnificent Ambersons

*Colman receives his second nomination in as many years. Is he destined to become the Hertzie’s version of Susan Lucci?

Humphrey Bogart In a Lonely Place

Winner: Humphrey Bogart, In a Lonely Place

Bogart steps out of his “Bogart” comfort zone. He and Gloria Grahame display a master class in restraint and disillusionment. One doesn’t work without the other, and its a shame the Hertzies couldn’t see fit to reward Grahame equally. *SPOILER ALERT*

Amy Adams, The Arrival
Irene Dunne, Theodora Gone Wild
Gloria Grahame, In a Lonely Place
Judy Holliday, Bells Are Ringing
Lisa Margolin, David & Lisa
Barbara Streisand, What’s Up Doc?

*Amy Adams received the only nomination for a modern film in the lead acting categories. And this automatically gives me more credibility than the 2017 Academy Awards. 

judy holliday bells are ringing

Winner: Judy Holliday, Bells Are Ringing

Powerhouse song and dance performance by Judy Holliday narrowly bests Gloria Grahame.

John Paxton – Murder, My Sweet (1944)
Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger – Black Narcissus (1947)
Eleanor Perry – David & Lisa (1962)
Andrew Solt, Edmund H. North – In a Lonely Place (1950)
Orson Welles – The Magnificent Ambersons (1942)
Samuel G. Engel, Winston Miller – My Darling Clementine (1946)

*That little indie film, David & Lisa, picks up it’s surprise second nomination.

david & lisa 1962

Winner: Eleanor Perry – David & Lisa 

David (& Lisa) slays Goliath. Takes home a screenwriting award for Eleanor Perry and her touching love story about two students in a school for the mentally-impaired searching for a connection.

Trey Parker – Cannibal! The Musical (1993)
Mike Gray, T.S. Cook, James Bridges – The China Syndrome (1979)
Richard Linklater – Everybody Wants Some! (2016)
Mario Puzo, Francis Ford Coppola – The Godfather Part III (1990)
Kim Ki-Young – The Housemaid (1960)
Buck Henry, David Newman, Robert Benton – What’s Up Doc? (1972)

*The Original Screenplay category wins at life. Just look at those options. Nowhere — and I mean nowhere — could you ever see a Korean film from 1960 in the same category as Cannibal! The Musical and The Godfather Part III. Plus, the category contains two, count ’em, two exclamation points! 

what's up doc

Winner: Buck Henry, David Newman, Robert Benton – What’s Up Doc? (1972)

The favorite takes this category in a landslide as Hertzie voters were overhead saying on Twitter that it was the most fun they had at a movie all year.

Alfred Hitchcock, Rope
Kim Ki-Young, The Housemaid
Jose Ramon Larraz, Symptoms
Ida Lupino, The Hitch-hiker
Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger, Black Narcissus
Orson Welles, The Magnificent Ambersons

*I can’t wait to seat this crew at the same table, just to see what happens. The potential conversation between Orson Welles, Alfred Hitchcock and Jose Ramon Larraz is the reason the Hertzies are the best awards show on the planet. 

black narcissus

Winner: Michael Powell, Emeric Pressburger, Black Narcissus

Orson and Hitchcock received some votes, but the visual splendor and ensemble performances throughout Black Narcissus made it the Hertzies’ favorite.

The Bank Dick (1940)
Bells Are Ringing (1960)
Black Narcissus (1947)
In a Lonely Place (1950)
Rope (1948)
What’s Up Doc? (1972)

*Two comedies, a thriller, a film noir, a musical, and a technicolor melodrama contend for the top prize. 

Winner: The Bank Dick (1940)

The tightest, most brutal Hertzie Best Picture race in the history of ever finds W.C. Fields and The Bank Dick squeaking out a victory over the heavily favored Black Narcissus and In A Lonely Place. It is my guess that neither had ever boondoggled and the voters went with their gut — the movie that would get the most replay.

Cannibal! The Musical (1993)
The Housemaid (1960)
Mill of the Stone Women (1960)
Symptoms (1974)
Tower of Screaming Virgins (1968)
Vanishing Point (1971)

*Some don’t even care about the Best Picture award, contending that the real action happens here — in what amounts to the Hertzie after party. Even this category stirs some controversy as Kim Ki-Young’s The Housemaid slips into the B-Picture category, but word has it the studio felt it had a much better shot at carrying away the first foreign-language Hertzie in the coveted B-Picture category than fighting it out with the big boys. 

the housemaid 1960

Winner: Symptoms

The Tower of Screaming Virgins cries fowl over The Housemaid’s inclusion in the B-Picture category, but we’ll let the courts decide the legal battle. Nobody speaks Korean to know what director Kim Ki-Young has to say about the nature of his production. It snuck in thanks to a lax quality control by the Rumble’s accountants who didn’t much care because there’s no money at stake here. So it goes.

The winners were announced the night of the 2018 Academy Awards on March 4th. 

Categories
31 Days of Horror Cinema

Night Creatures: 31 Days of Horror

#29. Night Creatures (1962)

Nature of Shame:
Unseen Hammer Horror.

Hoop-tober Challenge Checklist:
Decade: 1960’s
Hammer Horror

I took a poll on Twitter to see which Hammer horror film I should consider to fill my Hooptober requirement. As I’d seen most every one of the suggestions, the conversation became a welcome reminder about how much I enjoy these movies. I really should fit more Hammer horror into my schedule.

I fell on Night Creatures because it was mentioned in that thread and I happened to have the recently released 8-film Hammer Blu-ray set featuring a bunch of movies I’d seen and Night Creatures!

The Story

In 18th-century England, the Royal Crown sends Royal Navy Captain Collier and his crew to investigate reports of illegal smuggling and bootlegging in a coastal town where locals believe in Marsh Phantoms.

night creatures aka captain clegg

Talking about Night Creatures (aka Captain Clegg) might be unfair to anyone that’s not seen the film. Detailing the film might remove the sense of discovery because any in-depth description might, in fact, cause a viewer to say “meh,” and move on to something more salacious. Directed by Peter Graham Scott, Night Creatures proceeds at a languid pace and without any legitimate “creature” payoff.

So instead of detailing specifics, I’ll tell you why you’re still going to watch Night Creatures.

#1. Peter Cushing as a priest with unspecified past transgressions.

#2. A restrained Oliver Reed with a pompadour coif.

#3. The titular “night creature” effects.

#4. Pirates. Angry pirates. Retired pirates. Pirate henchmen. You name the pirate variety, Night Creatures offers you pirates.

Final Night Creatures Thoughts:

This entry in the 31 Days of Horror marathon has been brought to by the words “brevity” and the phrase “about to eat Thanksgiving food.” I do encourage you to watch Night Creatures because it surprises and rewards through the offerings of two proper thespians and a nice little twist that may or may not see coming.

 

30Hz Movie Rating:

Availability:

hammer horror blu-ray

 

Hammer Horror 8-Film Collection is available at Amazon and wherever fine Hammer films are sold.

Buy Hammer Horror 8-Film Collection on Amazon.

 

 

2017 @CinemaShame / Hooptober Shame Statement
31+ Days of Horror. 33 Horror Movies. 33 Reviews.

#1. Caltiki The Immortal Monster (1959) / #2. The Devil Doll (1936) / #3. The Velvet Vampire (1971) / #4. Mill of the Stone Women (1960) / #5. The Initiation (1984) / #6. Poltergeist (1982) / #7. Night of the Lepus (1972) / #8. The Black Cat (1934) / #9. The Raven (1935) / #10. Friday the 13th (1980) / #11. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) / #12. Body Snatcher (1945) / #13. Dismembered (1962) / #14. From Hell It Came (1957) / #15. Symptoms (1974) / #16. Eating Raoul (1982) / #17. Spellcaster (1988) / #18. The Old Dark House (1932) / #19. House (1985) / #20. House II: The Second Story / #21. Christine (1983) / #22. Suspiria (1977) / #23. The Invisible Man (1933) / #24. Spider aka Zirneklis (1991) / #25. The Wife Killer (1976) / #26. Cannibal! The Musical (1993) / #27. The Wicker Man (1973) / #28. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) / #29. Night Creatures (1962) / #30. Nosferatu (1922) / #31. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare / #32. Day of the Dead (1985) / #33. Psycho II (1983) / #34. The Green Butchers (2003)

Categories
31 Days of Horror Cinema

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2: 31 Days of Horror

#28. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

texas chainsaw massacre 2 posterNature of Shame:
Unseen Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie.

Hoop-tober Challenge Checklist:
Decade: 1980’s
Tobe Hooper

Texas Chainsaw Massacre graced my 2015 @CinemaShame list. I’d never watched the entire movie all the way through. I righted that wrong and felt wholly content with my exposure to all manner of Lone Star-state massacres, but like the lunar solstice, Hooptober rolled right around again this October and I needed sequels and more Tobe Hooper films to fill out my schedule. Two birds. One stone.

Truth be told, I never paid any attention to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. I knew of its existence, obviously, but I’ve only got so many moviewatching hours in the day. What finally piqued my interest of all things was the poster. (It’s up there at the top of this page if you need a refresher.)

You’re looking at that and thinking one of three things.

Option 1: That’s… not very interesting.

Option 2: Holy hell that’s a riff on The Breakfast Club!

Option 3: Obvs.

the breakfast club poster
(For reference.)

The Story

Chainsaw-wielding maniac Leatherface (Bill Johnson) is up to his cannibalistic ways once again, along with the rest of his twisted clan, including the equally disturbed Chop-Top (Bill Moseley). This time, the masked killer has set his sights on pretty disc jockey Vanita “Stretch” Brock (Caroline Williams), who teams up with Texas lawman Lefty Enright (Dennis Hopper) to battle the psychopath and his family deep within their lair, a macabre abandoned amusement park.

texas chainsaw massacre 2

How do you follow up a critically-acclaimed cult masterpiece? With reverence and humility. Also, it helps to not give two f*&#s.

The 1980’s became sequel obsessed. The Friday the 13th franchise turned out six films in six years. Nightmare on Elm Street? Five movies in six years. Pressure must have mounted on Tobe Hooper to follow up 1974’s Texas Chain Saw Massacre. 12 years had passed. 12 years of expectation. 12 years for the original to evolve into a cherished and untouchable classic.

Hooper hadn’t even planned to direct the sequel — but he couldn’t find an acceptable director to work under the budgetary constraints, which I read as he couldn’t find a director willing to work for free. Hooper stepped in to direct again, but he’d conceived TCM2 as a black comedy. Cannon Films wanted a straight horror sequel.

texas chainsaw massacre 2
Not a straight horror sequel.

Cannon obviously wasn’t satisfied with the final product, and the film’s $8million box office (good for 83rd place in 1986 between Haunted Honeymoon and The Best of Times) seemed to justify their distaste. The film’s original  “X” rating from the MPAA certainly didn’t help matters. Hooper instead chose to release it without a rating entirely.

Texas Chain Saw Massacre created terror through the unseen. Perfectly inserted moments of cathartic gore and violence punctuated the pursuit of a skin-masked chainsaw-wielding maniac. An exercise in restraint. Hooper’s sequel disembowels that restraint and lets the entrails falls out on to the floor. And then wears the entrails as a shirt.

texas chainsaw massacre 2

The film opens with 80’s douchebags being attacked by the obligatory chainsaw maniac scored by Oingo Boingo. If you should know one thing about me, it’s that a 1980’s movie featuring Oingo Boingo is the quickest way to my heart. From there, TCM2 wallows in hilarious depravity. Hooper never undermines the original; he takes this opportunity to explore the flipside of that brand of unsettling horror. Skin-wearing lunatics living in a cavernous underground themepark from hell.

Critics eviscerated the film at the time of its release. The excessive gore and wasted stock characters caused a bit of indigestion. Dennis Hopper’s role especially caused consternation because he floundered around the screen as a hapless detective with no drive before flipping a switch and becoming a chainsaw waving erstaz hero. These critics failed to recognize that crazy Dennis Hopper is pure entertainment — no explanation necessary.

dennis hopper texas chainsaw massacre 2

If you want to find more meaning in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2‘s on-screen shenanigans, there’s some merit to the analysis of the film as a commentary on 1980’s excess. That said, if you’re not already on board with Hooper’s absurd approach to the Massacre‘s legacy, I doubt a criticism of Reagan-era consumerism will re-orient your perspective.

 

Final Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 Thoughts:

I knew enough to expect “bonkers,” and I still wasn’t fully prepared for Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2’s warped sense of humor. By not putting Texas Chain Saw Massacre on a pedestal, Hooper created something truly and bizarrely original. Dare I say it? I enjoyed this more than that heralded original.

 

30Hz Movie Rating:

Availability:

texas chainsaw massacre 2 blu-ray

 

Shout Factory’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 Collector’s Edition is available and it’s lovin’ every minute of it.

Buy Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 on Amazon.

 

 

2017 @CinemaShame / Hooptober Shame Statement
31+ Days of Horror. 33 Horror Movies. 33 Reviews.

#1. Caltiki The Immortal Monster (1959) / #2. The Devil Doll (1936) / #3. The Velvet Vampire (1971) / #4. Mill of the Stone Women (1960) / #5. The Initiation (1984) / #6. Poltergeist (1982) / #7. Night of the Lepus (1972) / #8. The Black Cat (1934) / #9. The Raven (1935) / #10. Friday the 13th (1980) / #11. Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981) / #12. Body Snatcher (1945) / #13. Dismembered (1962) / #14. From Hell It Came (1957) / #15. Symptoms (1974) / #16. Eating Raoul (1982) / #17. Spellcaster (1988) / #18. The Old Dark House (1932) / #19. House (1985) / #20. House II: The Second Story / #21. Christine (1983) / #22. Suspiria (1977) / #23. The Invisible Man (1933) / #24. Spider aka Zirneklis (1991) / #25. The Wife Killer (1976) / #26. Cannibal! The Musical (1993) / #27. The Wicker Man (1973) / #28. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986) / #29. Night Creatures (1962) / #30. Nosferatu (1922) / #31. Wes Craven’s New Nightmare / #32. Day of the Dead (1985) / #33. Psycho II (1983) / #34. The Green Butchers (2003)