2nd Annual 30/007Hz 2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards

2nd Annual 2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards


The 2nd Annual 30/007Hz First Watch Hertzie Nominations

According to my stats sheet, I watched 245 movies last year, give or a take a bunch of live tweets I forgot to log. 74.7% of those viewings were new to me. My first new watch of 2016 was Melvin and Howard, my final — Gods of Egypt.

Last year, inspired by my growing malaise during Hollywood award season, I started my own annual tradition. I created nominations and awards dedicated to any movie I watched during the past year. Any year, any genre. The First Annual Hertzie Awards became an Interweb sensation! All of approximately four people eagerly awaited the results, which I broadcast on Twitter during the actual Academy Awards. That big Hertzie victory for Slither (1973) really surprised the pundits and turned the tables on a number of sure-thing Hertzie pools.

I apparently had enough fun with my Oscars counterprogramming that I’m back for more in 2017. That said, I’m still rather tired of the hoopla and noise over films made largely to win awards. Also self-perceived and false-fronted bl-gging fame. I’m driven by all those things. And just like last year, let’s kick off the festivities with our very own Hertzie girl, Myrna Loy, looking divine, ready to read the 2nd Annual 30/007Hz Hertzie Award nominees.


2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards Girl - Myrna Loy


Presenting the Second Annual First-Watch Hertzie Award Nominations


2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards Nominations
Favorite Supporting Actor

2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards - favorite supporting actor 2016


Black Phillip, The Witch

Denholm Elliott, Saint Jack *Winner*

James Earl Jones, Swashbuckler

Roddy McDowall, The Cool Ones*

Jack Palance, The Lonely Man**

Terry-Thomas, Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die


*This nomination is a miscarriage of justice… I mean a consolation prize… since Roddy got shut out of the Best Actor category for Lord Love a Duck. The Cool Ones is an absolute disaster, but Roddy’s performance is maniacal and schizophrenic. Two qualities Hertzie voters adore in supporting roles. 

**Probably a leading role, but Palance’s camp lobbied for inclusion in the category that promised greater opportunities for more on-stage one-armed pushups.


Favorite Supporting Actress

2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards - favorite supporting actress 2016


Jane Brooks, The 7th Victim

Viola Davis, Fences*

Kate McKinnon, Ghostbusters *WINNER*

Michele Morgan, Fallen Idol

Liz Rolyat, Holiday in Spain

Mary Steenburgen, Melvin and Howard


*Though technically a starring role, I make the rules here. And because I make the rules I suggest that Viola plays the supporting role because she doesn’t get the showy Denzel scene chewing. She gets to be the crutch that allows Denzel to go balls out. (And if this speech sounds familiar it’s because we used it to justify Audrey Hepburn’s supporting candidacy for The Children’s Hour last year. Our copywriters have limited words. Maybe we need better copywriters. 


Favorite Actor

2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards - favorite actor 2016


Jeff Bridges, Thunderbolt & Lightfoot

Ronald Colman, Bulldog Drummond Strikes Back

Ben Gazzara, Saint Jack

Jeff Goldblum, The Fly

Joe Seneca, Crossroads

Denzel Washington, Fences *WINNER*


Favorite Actress

favorite actress 2016


Carol Kane, Hester Street *WINNER*

Diane Lane, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains

Ann-Margret, The Swinger

Lynn Redgrave, Georgy Girl

Moira Shearer, The Red Shoes

Alison Steadman, Nuts in May


Favorite Adapted Screenplay

Favorite adapted screenplay 2016


Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Deadpool

Charles Edward Pogue, David Cronenberg, The Fly

Whit Stillman, Love & Friendship

Howard Sackler, Paul Theroux, Peter Bogdanovich, Saint Jack

Rose Kaufman, Philip Kaufman, The Wanderers *WINNER*

Compton MacKenzie, Angus MacPhail, Whisky Galore


Favorite Original Screenplay

favorite original screenplay 2016


Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water *WINNER*

Bo Goldman, Melvin and Howard 

Mike Leigh, Nuts in May

Dezso Magyar, Mark Medoff, Off Beat*

Leslie Stevens, Private Property

Michael Cimino, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot


*A shocking development — a nomination for the completely forgotten and maligned-when-remembered fluff comedy starring Judge Reinhold and Meg Tilly. SHOCKING. Have the Hertzies lost all credibility? Take your discussion to the Interwebs.


Favorite Director

favorite director 2016


Dario Argento, Deep Red

David Cronenberg, The Fly *WINNER*

Jesus Franco, Vampyros Lesbos

Philip Kaufman, The Wanderers

Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, The Red Shoes*

Kaneto Shindô, Kuroneko


*Jesus Franco and Powell & Pressburger nominated together in the same category. Just when you thought you’d seen everything, the Hertzies deliver another slice of cinematic heresy. 


Favorite Picture

favorite picture 2016


Deep Red

The Fly

Hell or High Water


Saint Jack

The Wanderers *WINNER*


Favorite Picture – B-Movie Category (aka “the Bertzie”)

99 River Street

7th Victim

J.D.’s Revenge

Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die

Off Beat*

Vampyros Lesbos *WINNER*


*And now a Best “B” Picture nod for Off Beat! Rumor has it that 30Hz pushed for this Off Beat nomination on the off chance that Meg Tilly shows up for the ceremony.

(Meg, call me.)

By jdp

Pittsburgh-based freelance writer, movie watcher and vinyl crate digger. I've interviewed Tom Hanks and James Bond and it was all downhill from there.

2nd Annual 30/007Hz 2016 First Watch Hertzie Awards

by jdp time to read: 3 min