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The 2nd Annual 30/007Hz First Watch Hertzie Nominations
According to my Letterboxd.com stats sheet, I watched 245 movies last year, give or a take a bunch of live tweets I forgot to log. 74.7% of those viewings were new to me. My first new watch of 2016 was Melvin and Howard, my final — Gods of Egypt.
Last year, inspired by my growing malaise during Hollywood award season, I started my own annual tradition. I created nominations and awards dedicated to any movie I watched during the past year. Any year, any genre. The First Annual Hertzie Awards became an Interweb sensation! All of approximately four people eagerly awaited the results, which I broadcast on Twitter during the actual Academy Awards. That big Hertzie victory for Slither (1973) really surprised the pundits and turned the tables on a number of sure-thing Hertzie pools.
I apparently had enough fun with my Oscars counterprogramming that I’m back for more in 2017. That said, I’m still rather tired of the hoopla and noise over films made largely to win awards. Also self-perceived and false-fronted bl-gging fame. I’m driven by all those things. And just like last year, let’s kick off the festivities with our very own Hertzie girl, Myrna Loy, looking divine, ready to read the 2nd Annual 30/007Hz Hertzie Award nominees.
Presenting the Second Annual First-Watch Hertzie Award Nominations
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Favorite Supporting Actor
Black Phillip, The Witch
Denholm Elliott, Saint Jack *Winner*
James Earl Jones, Swashbuckler
Roddy McDowall, The Cool Ones*
Jack Palance, The Lonely Man**
Terry-Thomas, Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die
*This nomination is a miscarriage of justice… I mean a consolation prize… since Roddy got shut out of the Best Actor category for Lord Love a Duck. The Cool Ones is an absolute disaster, but Roddy’s performance is maniacal and schizophrenic. Two qualities Hertzie voters adore in supporting roles.
**Probably a leading role, but Palance’s camp lobbied for inclusion in the category that promised greater opportunities for more on-stage one-armed pushups.
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Favorite Supporting Actress
Jane Brooks, The 7th Victim
Viola Davis, Fences*
Kate McKinnon, Ghostbusters *WINNER*
Michele Morgan, Fallen Idol
Liz Rolyat, Holiday in Spain
Mary Steenburgen, Melvin and Howard
*Though technically a starring role, I make the rules here. And because I make the rules I suggest that Viola plays the supporting role because she doesn’t get the showy Denzel scene chewing. She gets to be the crutch that allows Denzel to go balls out. (And if this speech sounds familiar it’s because we used it to justify Audrey Hepburn’s supporting candidacy for The Children’s Hour last year. Our copywriters have limited words. Maybe we need better copywriters.
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Favorite Actor
Jeff Bridges, Thunderbolt & Lightfoot
Ronald Colman, Bulldog Drummond Strikes Back
Ben Gazzara, Saint Jack
Jeff Goldblum, The Fly
Joe Seneca, Crossroads
Denzel Washington, Fences *WINNER*
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Favorite Actress
Carol Kane, Hester Street *WINNER*
Diane Lane, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains
Ann-Margret, The Swinger
Lynn Redgrave, Georgy Girl
Moira Shearer, The Red Shoes
Alison Steadman, Nuts in May
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Favorite Adapted Screenplay
Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick, Deadpool
Charles Edward Pogue, David Cronenberg, The Fly
Whit Stillman, Love & Friendship
Howard Sackler, Paul Theroux, Peter Bogdanovich, Saint Jack
Rose Kaufman, Philip Kaufman, The Wanderers *WINNER*
Compton MacKenzie, Angus MacPhail, Whisky Galore
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Favorite Original Screenplay
Taylor Sheridan, Hell or High Water *WINNER*
Bo Goldman, Melvin and Howard
Mike Leigh, Nuts in May
Dezso Magyar, Mark Medoff, Off Beat*
Leslie Stevens, Private Property
Michael Cimino, Thunderbolt and Lightfoot
*A shocking development — a nomination for the completely forgotten and maligned-when-remembered fluff comedy starring Judge Reinhold and Meg Tilly. SHOCKING. Have the Hertzies lost all credibility? Take your discussion to the Interwebs.
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Favorite Director
Dario Argento, Deep Red
David Cronenberg, The Fly *WINNER*
Jesus Franco, Vampyros Lesbos
Philip Kaufman, The Wanderers
Michael Powell & Emeric Pressburger, The Red Shoes*
Kaneto Shindô, Kuroneko
*Jesus Franco and Powell & Pressburger nominated together in the same category. Just when you thought you’d seen everything, the Hertzies deliver another slice of cinematic heresy.
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Favorite Picture
Deep Red
The Fly
Hell or High Water
Kuroneko
Saint Jack
The Wanderers *WINNER*
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Favorite Picture – B-Movie Category (aka “the Bertzie”)
99 River Street
7th Victim
J.D.’s Revenge
Kiss the Girls and Make Them Die
Off Beat*
Vampyros Lesbos *WINNER*
*And now a Best “B” Picture nod for Off Beat! Rumor has it that 30Hz pushed for this Off Beat nomination on the off chance that Meg Tilly shows up for the ceremony.
(Meg, call me.)
