Tag: hooptober

Friday the 13th Part VIII (1989): 31 Days of Horror

Post author By jdp
Post date November 6, 2019
No Comments on Friday the 13th Part VIII (1989): 31 Days of Horror

In Friday the 13th Part VIII Jason Takes Manhattan -- or does he?

#14. Friday the 13th Part VIII (1989)

Nature of Shame:
YET ANOTHER UNSEEN FRIDAY THE 13TH.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:
Decade: 1980’s
#Watch1989

AT LAST. I’ve reached my goal. I had to watch through Part VIII to satisfy my personal requirements for my #Watch1989 marathon. (Thanks, DVD Netflix, for fueling this madness.) Huzzah. Calling this a pyrrhic victory would be generous. I spent 20 minutes at a bar struggling to differentiate between all 8 Friday the 13th movies. I had to rewind for some do-overs, but I hit my stride after the second pint of Imperial Stout.

‘Friday the 13th Part VIII – Jason Takes Manhattan’ Elevator Pitch

Right — lovely. So based on the title, Jason’s unleashed in Manhattan. What a wonderful premise! I can’t wait to hear more.

Noooooo, no no no. Wait. This is even better. Jason’s stuck on board a high school party river cruise. Fish in a barrel!

Wait. So he’s not in New York City?

Not until the very end! But trust me on this river cruise thing. It’ll be perfect. Die Hard on a river cruise! Except not Die Hard, but Friday the 13th!

Tell me one thing. Does Jason at least maul a boombox blasting rap music once he’s in New York City?

You know it!

Jason shakes his machete angrily at the skyline.

‘Jason Takes a Party Cruise’ Doesn’t Have the Same Ring To It

But then again, maybe “Jason Takes a Party Cruise” would have been appropriately reflective of how little Jason actually “takes” because it’s definitely not Manhattan. It also speaks to the dearth of creativity found in this eighth entry in the series. While I’m no apologist, I also can’t abide the critics who lament a rapid and steady decline of Friday the 13th from its glorious heights.

First of all, what glorious heights? And second of all, the original wasn’t well made nor was it all that entertaining. You want a solid slasher flick? Try Part II. If you want wild and entertaining, try Part VI. You want trashtastic? Part VII‘s got your number. If you’re a masochist, I recommend Part V.

If you’re looking at this series as a steady decline, you’re not actually watching the movies.

Reverting back to tired old teenage “types” and putting them aboard a party cruise for Jason to pick off one by one isn’t a bad premise. It at least tries to push the series beyond Crystal Lake. (If you’re a camper or vacationer aren’t you steering clear of that place by now?) Friday the 13th Part VIII seems content to go through the motions in the new and shiny locale that serves as a stand-in for invention.

Jim (Tom Caldecott) and Rennie (Jensen Daggett) take on Jason in a nonsensical sewer throwdown.

The teenagers have no personality. Jason does Jason things. Worst of all, director Rob Heddon seems perfectly content to invoke a Freddy Krueger brand of illusionary, red herring dreamscape terror. Our “final girl” sees visions of young Jason around every corner. Heddon’s trying to humanize our inhuman evil, but it rings false because he does so in a way that invokes A Nightmare on Elm Street and concedes that Jason’s run out of momentum.

In Friday the 13th Part VIII Jason Takes Manhattan — or maybe just a souvenir, like a I Heart NY t-shit.

Final ‘Friday the 13th Part VIII’ Thoughts

By the time Jason actually makes it to Manhattan, there’s no saving this movie. We’re only treated to this one image that hints at the promise of a movie called Jason Takes Manhattan. There’s no tension, no thrills, and no surprises. It’s a 100-minute slog that wears out its welcome after the first 30 and Jason doesn’t even sniff the ripe garbage of New York City until the one-hour mark.

friday the 13th blu-ray Friday the 13th Part VIII is available on Blu-ray and DVD.

2019 @CinemaShame / #Hooptober Progress

#1. Shocker (1989) // #2. Etoile (1989) // #3. The Phantom of the Opera (1989) // #4. Blacula (1972) // #5. Scream Blacula Scream (1973) // #6. Jaws: The Revenge (1987) // #7. Blood Bath (1966) // #8. Friday the 13th Part V (1985) // #9. Friday the 13th Part VI (1986) // #10. Friday the 13th Part VII (1988) // #11. Dracula: Prince of Darkness (1966) // #12. Pet Sematary (1989) // #13. Eaten Alive (1976) // #14. Friday the 13th Part VIII (1989)

James David Patrick is a writer. He’s written just about everything at some point or another. Add whatever this is to that list. Follow his blog at www.thirtyhertzrumble.com and find him on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Disclaimer: I earn rewards from DVD.Netflix.com, which has thousands of movies to choose from, many that you won’t find on streaming services. I do this because the availability of physical media is important. The popular streaming notion of “everything available all the time” is a myth. We are always our own best curators. #PhysicalMedia #DVDNation #ad

Tags 31 days of horror, friday the 13th, friday the 13th jason takes manhattan, friday the 13th part viii, hooptober

31 Days of Horror Cinema Reviews

Eaten Alive (1976): 31 Days of Horror

Post author By jdp
Post date October 30, 2019
No Comments on Eaten Alive (1976): 31 Days of Horror

#13. Eaten Alive (1976)

Nature of Shame:
Unseen Tobe Hooper

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:
Decade: 1970’s
There Must Always be a Tobe Hooper
Reptile rampage (tribute to Crawl)

Just rounding out my Tobe Hooper filmography with one I haven’t seen because, per Cinemonster’s rules, there must always be a Tobe Hooper. I knew nothing about this one except it featured an alligator or a crocodile or some such beast and it also, fortuitously, satisfied the “reptile rampage” requirement.

‘Eaten Alive’ Elevator Pitch

There’s this motel located deep in the south of Texas where guests check in, but they don’t always check out because some of them get fed to the gator by a wild-eyed Jack Elam-looking coot played by Neville Brand.

And the protagonist of your story?

The gator, obviously.

The man-eating alligator that lives off the porch is going to be your hero of the picture? You’re pulling my leg.

Not a bit. The girl you think is the main girl gets eaten. And then the next one gets eaten, too — also the dog — and so on and so forth until the sister of the one that gets eaten shows up and she becomes the focus of the story.

And the alligator?

You’ll just have to see, won’t ye?

Hold on. Did you say the dog gets eaten?

Eaten Alive’s Starlight Motel, the epicenter of nefarious goings on.

No One Suspects the Starlight Motel

And I have to ask why. It looks like people have been murdered there, with regularity. Anyone stopping by thinking they’re in for a good night’s rest must have a seriously problematic home life. When the naive prostitute Clara gets evicted from her brothel for refusing Robert Englund “butt-stuff” she turns to the Starlight Motel for accommodations. I questioned her judgment.

She’s met immediately by the proprietor, the grizzled Judd, more cured meat with a woman’s wig than man, who attempts some sort of kooky blend of murder and #MeToo crime before hacking her to pieces with a scythe before — you guessed it — making her gator meat.

Clara Wood (Roberta Collins) getting prepped to be gator food in Tobe Hooper’s Eaten Alive (1976).

Put Eaten Alive’s so-called narrative on the back burner for just a second so we can take a look at how Tobe Hooper presented this wild (inept?) premise for public consumption. Eaten Alive has no definitive structure. Hooper’s cobbled together a series of murders by placing a madmen and his pet alligator at the center of a Southern Gothic nightmare. Whereas something like Texas Chainsaw Massacre felt rooted in a nightmare version of reality, Eaten Alive feels more like straight nightmare.

Low budget single-location set design shrouded in fog. Caustic, unnatural lighting techniques. Stilted dialogue and unnatural pauses. Dutch angles and numerous POV shots. While Tobe Hooper’s fingerprints remain all over the blood and morbidity, you wouldn’t be faulted for thinking that maybe David Lynch had a hand in this production as well.

Jud (Neville Brand), the “mentally disturbed” proprietor at the Starlight Motel, keeps a scythe on hand for feeding time.

Surrealistic, Twilight World

Contemporaneous critics couldn’t help but compare this film to Texas Chainsaw Massacre and more often than not faulted Eaten Alive‘s hyperreality as the reason why it failed to live up to Hooper’s past precedent. I won’t go as far as to suggest that Eaten Alive is some overlooked classic because it’s too sloppy and shapeless to be a masterpiece, but it is indeed a special viewing experience and not the supposedly “inept” and worthlessly trashy horror flick. Scratch that last bit — it is definitely trashy.

Filmed entirely around an indoor pool on a sound stage at Raleigh Studios in Hollywood, California, Hooper achieved his goal of creating a “surrealistic, twilight world” through the apparent artifice of the set-bound production. The story had been adapted by Texas Chainsaw Massacre co-scribe Kim Henkel and based loosely on the story of Joe Ball (known as the Bluebeard from South Texas or the Alligator Man). Ball owned a bar with a live alligator attraction during the 1930s and also murdered several women. Though rumors persisted that he disposed of their corpses by feeding them to the alligator, it was never proven.

Hooper perfectly captures the isolated eccentricities of a grisly and desperate carnival of weirdos parading through the Texas swampland. Eaten Alive provides a grotesque and singular hallucinatory grindhouse experience. To watch Eaten Alive is to bathe in a mosquito-infested pool of the trashy macabre. It’s leering and sticky and no amount of showering can wash it away.

Robert Englund looks and acts like gator bait.

Final ‘Eaten Alive’ Thoughts

But I do not believe, however, that Eaten Alive displayed narrative ineptitude. Narrative indifference, on the other hand, sounds far more likely. Hooper doesn’t even attempt to create a traditional cinematic story. In order for a narrative to be inept, one must exist. In many ways, Eaten Alive reflects cinematic horror influenced by the giallo through garish colors and a foregrounding of a distinct visual style over substance. The violent vignettes become substance in lieu of traditional narrative.

Since the film’s backloaded resolution comes together during the final fifteen minutes it’s fair to suggest the film would have been better served without it. I wouldn’t call it unnecessary, but the film crawls to a halt when it most closely resembles narrative.

Trashy, gruesome and hyper-stylized, Eaten Alive provides an unforgettable experience for gorehounds and fans of David Lynch’s otherworldly, artificial milieu. Tobe Hooper’s production challenges the viewer to submit to his scattered whims. I can see why some would be turned off by the bizarre construction and lack of character development but why struggle? Sit back, get sweaty and enjoy the feast. Eaten Alive‘s a mile short of being called a masterpiece, but at times I couldn’t keep the word from popping into my head.

Eaten Alive is available via and Arrow Films Blu-ray.

2019 @CinemaShame / #Hooptober Progress

Tags #31daysofhorror, eaten alive, eaten alive 1976, eaten alive alligator, eaten alive review, eaten alive scythe, eaten alive tobe hooper, hooptober

31 Days of Horror Cinema Reviews

Pet Sematary: 31 Days of Horror

Post author By jdp
Post date October 28, 2019
No Comments on Pet Sematary: 31 Days of Horror

#12. Pet Sematary (1989)

Nature of Shame:
Unseen Stephen King adaptation from 1989.

Hooptober Challenge Checklist:
Decade: 1980’s
Female Directed

Much anticipated first-time watch of a seemingly beloved Mary Lambert film. Scheduled for viewing in my concurrent #Watch1989 marathon, I’d held off on this screening for Hooptober reasons. I’d had it in my Netflix DVD queue all year, and it was finally time to move it to the top of the list.

‘Pet Sematary’ Elevator Pitch

A Chicago M.D. Louis Creed (Dale Midkiff) and his family arrive at their new, rural Maine home. The local “coot” (Fred Gwynne) warns them about the “pet sematary” (sic) located behind their house. A newly dead jogger also warns the Doc about the cemetery (appearing in a dream) because the land has gone “sour.” Since that wasn’t enough warning, the guy goes and buries his daughter’s dead cat back there. When the cat comes back bad, he tries his luck a second time when his infant son is run over by a truck. This time it’ll work out for the best! Promise!

No One Expects the Spanish Inquisition Cats to Return From the Grave Evil

The horror genre often relies on ordinary people making bad decisions. They place themselves in bad situations, go down in that basement to check on the bump in the night, say Candyman five times, and have sex at Crystal Lake. In many ways the knowing that a character is making bad decisions intensifies the anxiety we might feel as that character’s situation grows increasingly more dire.

It’s natural to attribute bad decisions to spur-of-the-moment, stress-induced decision-making. Who thinks properly when being chased by a chainsaw-wielding madmen? Certainly not this guy. There’s a limit, however, to the number of bad decisions a viewer should tolerate from an otherwise sane human.

I’d listen to this guy. I don’t know about you.

The effectiveness of the horror elements in Pet Sematary rely on the viewer to feel something for a dullard that knowingly buries a cat in a cursed graveyard because he can’t deal with breaking news of the cat’s death to his daughter. When the cat comes back “bad” that should have been a solid warning sign about the powers within the graveyard. But it wasn’t enough for Doc Lou.

He and his wife then — through total negligence — allow their toddler to wander out onto a busy road. The kid gets hit by a truck and so we begin the portion of the program that feels like Lou sticking his finger into a light socket to see if the result changes.

But Let’s Try Children Instead!

I haven’t read the book, and therefore I can’t comment on the efficacy of the Stephen King adaptation. I can only comment on the movie in front of me. Louis has ignored visceral warnings about the power of the cemetery and he’s witnessed the negative effects of reanimation on the cat. While I understand how the movie wants to treat the emotional aftermath of traumatic loss, I also can’t feel sympathy for a family as irresponsible as this. I don’t feel any kind of connection or proximity to their pain that would allow me to consider the steps taken to be rational ones. As Kenny Rogers once said, “You’ve got to know when to fold ’em / know when to walk away / know when to run the &#*$ away from the Pet Sematary.”

It’s possible that before I became a parent myself I might have thought differently. Now, however, as I’m older and wiser with a little gray in my beard and two daughters of my own I watch this movie and I feel nothing but annoyed with Lou. When the negligence of these two parents contributes to the death of their son, I’m unable to feel any more tension or suspense. That’s a distinct problem for a horror movie. Making bad decisions with a cat corpse is one thing, trying to convince me that Doc Lou would put his son in there is an entirely trickier matter.

Final ‘Pet Sematary’ Thoughts

I’ve seen some bad movies this Hooptober season, but none that left me as cold and disappointed as Pet Sematary. I’d read and heard so much about how the movie handles grief that maybe I’d come to expect something else. When I should have been on the edge of my seat, I couldn’t muster anything but a time-check to see how much more of this I had to endure. Instead of just making a good movie, it seemed that Lambert over-sanctified the text. Do you know why The Shining is such a great movie? Stanley Kubrick didn’t give a damn about the book. He cared about telling a compelling story through potent imagery.

Prose offers so much more of the inner-life of a character, it may have provided enough context to lend Lou’s bad decisions some merit. Cinematic shorthand doesn’t allow the time to finesse these moments. Domestic horror films require a connection. I didn’t have it.

Pet Sematary is available on Blu-ray everywhere.

2019 @CinemaShame / #Hooptober Progress

Tags 31 days of horror, hooptober, mary lambert pet sematary, pet cemetery, pet sematary, pet sematary review, stephen king